Scripture

In preparing for my high school girls small group, the author of my book quoted R.C. Sproul discussing his thoughts on people wanting him to make the Bible 'come alive' for them. He said,

"I wanted to say, 'You want me to make the Bible come alive? I didn't know that it had

died. In fact, I never even heard that it was ill. who was the attending physician at the

Bible's demise?' No, I can't make the Bible come alive for anyone. The Bible is already alive.

 It makes me come alive."

Wow. Conviction. 

How many times have I been down and thought to myself, 'If only I could go to this conference, or find this great book to read, then I might learn how to apply new Biblical truths to my life.' 

Yikes Rhoda.

The truth is that it is easy to want to sit in a cushy chair and listen to someone who is animated and tells funny stories and has a great take home lesson. The truth is that it is convenient to read a book that is relevant and fresh and modern and promises to give you a new taste of old doctrine. Sure, these things in themselves aren't bad at all, but they cannot be the only source a Christian seeks to grow in Christ.

How silly of me to think that I need to learn some secret to make Scripture come alive? It is me who is dead in my sin, and the truth of Christ found in this living and holy word is the only source to bring me life.

Towards the end of the chapter, God used another quote by D.L. Moody (and a verse from Romans) to further press on my heart. 

"I prayed for faith, and thought that some day 

faith would come down and strike me like lightning. 

But faith did not seem to come.

One day I read in the tenth chapter of Romans,

 'Now faith comes by hearing,and hearing by the Word of God.' 

I had closed my Bible, and prayed for faith.

I now opened my Bible and began to study, and faith has been growing ever since."

Okay. I get it. I will open my Bible and begin to study. 

What? Everyday? Even when I am not excited about it? Even when I don't feel like I can master it? 

How beautiful it is that the only cure for my brokenness is found in His wonderful Word. How devestating the sin that tells me the Word is not sufficient and pleads for me to seek elsewhere for truth. How gracious the Father to send His Holy Spirit to intervene.....again...to send me to the very words spoken by Him.

5 Reasons Why I am Thankful To Grow Into Adulthood In the Recession

1. It is easy to think big but thank little when you have excess.
                   We are big thinkers. We love comfort. These lead us to be continually thinking about what can bring us more comfort. Once we get that house/partner/car/outfit that we knew would bring us comfort, we are dissappointed when the comfort is temporary and are left to think bigger. What bigger thing will bring me longer comfort? A bigger house/ a better partner/ a flashier car/ a bigger wardrobe. The cycle continues. It seems that the bigger we think, the lesser we thank. Entitlement is a very dangerous thing. Why should I be thankful for something that is my RIGHT? I earned this. I worked very hard for very long to become a  _____________ and to make ___________, so now I naturally get ___________ and ______________ and  _____________.


 2. Weariness causes longing for something greater.
                    I love the the line from "O Holy Night," "A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices." Isreal was surely familiar with wearniess. For hundreds of silent years it had waited for God. Can you imagine? But the line doesn't say "A thrill of hope weary Israel rejoices," but rather the "world rejoices." Hmmmmm..... I love that God has created us so much in His image that all man, not just the ones who believe in Him, ache for something that only He can give. How beautiful a line. A thrill of hope contrasted with weariness. Although the weariness is always present in this world, it is much more difficult to feel it when you are comfortable, fat, and rich.
3. The worst of circumstances often give birth to the best of character.
                   I instantly think of John Walkup, the dear father to my husband. He grew up during the Great Depression. I know he had more character as a result. He saw the value of work,and worked very hard. He also was content with very little, and thankful for everything. I can't help but think of all the character produced in the children of the Great Depression, who would be fighting for our freedom a decade later in World War II. Would that War have been different if it weren't for that Great Depression?

4. It gives more opportunities for blessing.
                  With it being the peak of the Christmas season, I have heard this a lot- "I just don't know what to give______________, he/she has everything and we just don't have much money this year for presents." We have gotten so used to having this standard of giving store-bought gifts for everyone. It is kind of sad to see this routine of buying gift cards or candles for someone and then they give you gift cards or candles. It is the great exchange. But what if we just stopped? What if we listened to each other saying "we really don't have much money" and blessed each other in other ways? I can't help but think of what Christ brought us, what would He say if He was at your house on Christmas morning? I am not saying that gifts are from the devil, I just think we need to be smart. The idea of a Christmas gift is to let someone know you love them and to bless them. How can we do that best?
5. All people appreciate greatness, and I think the Recession makes  people not only  look for greatness- but appreciate it more when they see it.                 
                     I love this clip. The singing is beautiful, but that is not my favorite part. What I love the most is that it takes place in such an ordinary, familiar setting. Out of this food court while people eat their routine Chick-fil-A lunch, comes greatness and beauty. People are suprised and delighted. I am sure that many of them do not even know what the song means, but they can't escape its glorious beauty. It makes me think of the King of Kings being born in such an ordinary setting, but the beauty that was there that caused shepherds and wise men to worship and a powerful King to fear. It makes me think of the day He will return and all people will be in awe of His glory, beauty, and power. It is captivating.
My computer is having an issue embedding it on this post....so check it out on the previous post. You won't regret it!

christmas flash mob. this video goes with me recession post.

A Week to Myself

This past week was the first week that I have lived by myself. Clay got invited to go on an amazing cruise for the week with a good friend, so I dropped him off at the air port early Monday morning and won't pick him up until late Monday night.
The first two nights the Munn family was kind enough to let me stay with them. I was busy studying for my last final exam, so Clay being gone did not really sink in until I was walking out of class from my exam. My instinct was to grab my cell phone and call him to tell him that it was over and how I thought I did. It felt so strange not telling anyone about it. Sure, I could have called a friend or something, but that wasn't the same. No one else knew how hard that class was, no one else had gone to it it with me for my birthday, no one else would have been as excited and eager to celebrate with me as Clay.
Wednesday night was my first night at home alone. I went to work that day and then drove home. It was strange just going about my day without being in conversation with Clay. What if I just didn't go home? No one would know. Well, Trooper would know....but that isn't the same. I thought that maybe the freedom to go wherever and do whatever might be invigorating, but it was the opposite. It was paralyzing.
Then I realized that I have never really been alone.I started dating Clay while I was in high school. I went from being at my parent's house- to a dorm -and to being married. I was used to always having people around, and now that I was by myself it was as if I was no longer myself.
And then the Spirit began to start stirring within me, as He often does when I am alone with my thoughts. "You have gotten too dependent on comfort from being known by others Rhoda- don't you want to be known by your Father?" How true. 
I had been wrong earlier this week. Clay was not the only person who knew how hard my class was, or had been in the class with me, or was excited and eager to celebrate all my hard work. Jesus was there all along. I just didn't notice him because I was too busy being around people all the time. And I didn't hear His Spirit because I wasn't quiet or still long enough. "Be Still, and Know that I am God" should also say to me "Be Still and turn off the TV and the cell phone and the computer and the car, and know that I am God by talking with me, reading my words, worshipping me..." Everytime I have felt a little lonely or the urge to call Clay this week, I have tried to talk God instead. What a humbling week this has been. What a beautiful week this has been.
I am thankful God has given me a large family and a home that was always busy. I am thankful God gave Clay and I each other to grow up together, and for having things like Facebook to stay connected with family and friends who are far away. But as thankful as I am for all of these things, I have to ask myself if I have I turned these gifts from God into idols keeping me from Him?
Yep. I sure have.
What a gracious God I have who gently whispers to my anxious heart in the silence, when all these years I have turned His gifts into idols and not given Him my firstfruits. How is it that He pursues the unfaithful? Oh, to know and to be known by the Creator, lover, and redeemer of my soul!

Why Me?

 I got to go to dinner tonight with my Uncle, Michael Koontz, and cousin, Mak who are in town for the Furniture Market. It was one more reminder of how blessed I am by the people in my life.

 Uncle Michael is a wonderfully talented interior designer with a fabulous store in Ocala. It was the coolest place to go to when we were little. There were a million places to hide and it was fun for me and CJ to pretend what furniture we would have in our future homes. As an adult, it is still the coolest place to go and imagine what we want to put on our houses! Uncle Michael and Aunt Diane would take me to see plays at the Bob Carr in Orlando when I was growing up. They also have the coolest house on Little Lake Wier.They go to all the Gator games. One of my favorite things about them is how honest they are. They don't say things just to be polite, they are always genuine. And they love Jesus. I had the privilege of reading an article that Uncle Micheal wrote in Ocala Magazine from journal entries written while he was battling bladder cancer a couple years ago. It was wonderful, just like him. After reading it, I couldn't help but think, "Why is it that God has surrounded me with the most amazing family and friends?"

I have written a lot about my parents and my brothers and sisters, who are all very special. I am blessed beyond belief to have them. The thing that blows my mind is that God just did not stop there. I have the fore-mentioned Aunt Diane and Uncle Michael (Diane being my biological mother's sister). Uncle Michael has a sister and brother-in-law who loved me so well. Sharon and Edward McClellan (along with their kids, Mollie, Mickey, Madison, and Emily) treated us like grand kids. They taught us how to ride horses and took us to the mountains. Sharon always let us play dress up with any of her clothes. She talked to us like we were grown ups. Mollie and Mickey took us to rodeos. Emily and Madison took us to MGM. But it never mattered where they took us- CJ and I just loved being with them.  I also have Uncle Turner and Aunt Suzanne. They live in a house built by my great-grandfather in the historical district of Ocala. It was (and still is) a cool place to go visit and explore. I love that Uncle Turner refers to himself as "Your old Uncle." My dad's sister Susan lived with us for a few years and she let me join her in her room every night to watch tv with her. My half-sisters Trisha and Melanie would drive long distances to pick us up and take us to their homes or to a family reunion. I loved spending time with them. Trisha looked just like Liesel in The Sound of Music. They introduced me to the movie Swiss Family Robinson.

Then there are the people who are family, even though they aren't really family. You know what I mean? My mom's close friends were also amazing. There's Jan, who is one of the funniest people I know and Teresa, the kindest  woman I will ever meet. Funny...they both let us play dress up in their closets....I guess this may be the trick to winning a young girls heart. God gave us the Delk family in Orlando. The Munn's, Bartelt's, and Smith's in Winston-Salem. People who just love well. People who are okay with a drop-in visit. People who you just watch tv with.

I am just overwhelmed. Why do I get a giant support system of loving, fun, talented, people when so many people only have crummy, abusive, destructive people in their lives? My prayer is that God can show me how to love people as well as I have been loved. That He will show me people who don't have people loving on them and give me the blessing of sharing the love of Christ with them.

When you think back about all the people God has placed in your life- what and who has He used to show His love to you?

What Not to Wear

Most evenings I watch the best show in the universe- What Not to Wear. If you haven't seen it, you have to- and here's why:

1. The clothes 2. The Shoes 3. The Bags
Just kidding. Well, sort of. The clothes, shoes, and bags are amazing and I love them. But the best part of the show is the transformation that takes place not just outwardly, but inwardly. Here's a rundown of how it works. I will use pics from the episode that they made over our beloved Mayim Bialik, aka Blossom.

Step 1: The Nomination

Close friends and family members seek out the help of Stacey London and Clinton Kelly to save a loved one from fashion suicide. In many cases, the style (or there of) of the nominee is keeping her (or him- every once in awhile) from achieving her goals. In other cases, many nominees have just given up on taking care of themselves and think the best thing to do is pour all their time and attention on everyone but them. In ALL cases, the nominee truly believes that what they are doing (or not doing) to themselves is great, or at least not all that bad.

Step 2: The Ambush

Stacy and Clinton surprise the poorly dressed gal in front of all the loved ones that were too afraid to tell her to her face she was a fashion nightmare. The nominee is usually shocked, then excited to be offered $5,000 for a new wardrobe, then embarrassed at having to watch secret footage of the sad state of her wardrobe.

Step #3 The 360 and Trash

The nominee is flown to NYC, along with her entire wardrobe. She picks out three different outfits and has to look at herself in a 360 degree mirror. Yikes. I don't care who you are...that is rough. She talks about what she likes about the outfit, and then Stacy and Clinton tell her why she is wrong. They then have an alternative outfit for her to see what is best for her body type and lifestyle. The most sad part is when she has to watch as Stacy and Clinton throw all of her clothes in the trash. So many people are attached to these ugly things. I used to think it was crazy, but now I don't. Those clothes represent who they are, and even if they don't like who they are....at least they know who they are. It is intimidating to have to start fresh. Why Blossom, WHY?

Step #4 Shopping

This should be the best day in the girl's week...but it never is. The girl aimlessly walks the amazing shops in New York either complaining or crying or buying things that Stacy and Clinton said she shouldn't. The first day she is always on her own, and the second day Stacy and Clinton rescue her and help her in her quest for a new wardrobe. I used to always wonder why they just didn't go with her on the first day. When I thought about it, I realized that shopping on her own was a very important part of the process. She is forced to do something for herself. She is faced with her insecurities. She is an emotional wreck. Then Stacy and Clinton very gently encourage her and show her how great she is....but she might not see it...yet...

Step #5 Hair and Makeup

The nominee is then taken to get a new hair do and makeup look. It is usually after the hair and makeup are done that she realizes she has some natural beauty.

Step #6 The Reveal

She now tries on three of her new outfits for Stacy and Clinton. This is the best part. The two people she thought were her worst enemies she now sees as her biggest cheerleaders. She feels powerful, beautiful, and worthy. She feels strong and she looks fabulous. I am so proud of you Blossom!

My life with God sometimes feels like What Not to Wear

How much of my life have I spent walking around, thinking I am doing okay. Sure...I am not the most spiritual person out there, but who has time to read their Bibles and pray for hours a day? So there I go...just walking around looking and feeling nasty- in denial of what is best for me. And just when I am settled enough.....

#1 Ambush

God ambushes me. Maybe it is through a sermon, or a friend, or scripture, or a homeless woman who held up a sign that said "You are great just as you are." I have been ambushed so many times over the years, you would think I wouldn't be surprised anymore. But I always am. That is what sin does to a soul. It is darkness. And darkness is always surprised by light. I go through the same phases as the show nominee. I am shocked, then excited about what God offers me, then embarrassed by the footage of what I truly looked like...what I settled for.

#2 The 360 and Trash

I am embarrassed that I would look at the girl on the show and think, "How can she look at herself in that outfit and think she looks okay?" But that is exactly what I do. I get so use to my sin that I can not really see what is so bad....I justify, I compare, and I justify some more. Christ is my 360 degree mirror. It is only when I see His perfect righteousness that I see my stained and sinful self as I truly am. I see in Christ what He offers me- just like the models of outfits prepared for the nominee...And I think, "Can I really look like that?" But I can't look like that if I still have all sin that I have been wearing around. So I need to take a trip to the trashcan with God. I need to trust him and not fight to hold onto the sin that has so easily entangled me. I need to keep my eye on the prize of what He has offered me.

#3 Shopping

Then I go out and dress myself with what He has prepared for me. The girl on the show is never really alone on her first shopping day. Clinton and Stacy are watching her through a TV monitor. The girl usually keeps saying, "I just wish Clinton and Stacy were here to tell me what to wear..." Oh how I have wished God was there to tell me exactly what to do all the time. But He is and He does. He uses whatever it takes to get my attention, and I love Him. So often I walk around aimlessly, sometimes crying, a lot of times complaining. I even feel the desire to go dumpster diving for my old threads. I must say that I am still in this shopping stage. I won't be made new until Jesus comes again and makes all things new. One of my favorite truths in the Bible is that of us being the bride of Christ. In ancient Jewish cultures, the bridegroom gave his fiancee a white linen dress when he proposed. He would then leave her and go to his father's house where he would build an addition onto it for he and his future wife to live. The bride's job during this time was to decorate her dress by adding embellishments on it. The book of Revelation talks about how we can prepare the dress that Christ has given us, as He is at His Father's house, preparing a room for us. We adorn our dress with righteous acts. I want my dress to be beautiful. Show me how Lord!

"Let us Rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear."

Revelation 19: 7-8

What a great reveal that will be.

My Fear....

Please forgive my lack of proper writing and grammar. My favorite thing to do lately is the ..... thing. I can't seem to stop..... okay, here it goes...

A little background: I have been struggling about being alone. Now, Now- before you (by you I mean the one or two people who will ever read this) start to tell me that I am never alone....hear me out. I have always been part of a huge family. When I was growing up, our house was filled with people. When I picture the front of my parent's house, I mainly see lots of cars filling the driveway and street. It was such a blessing that all my parent's 6 children and their kids lived in the same town.
A fear has filled my heart ever since Clay and I moved to Winston-Salem last summer . I am the only one that doesn't live in Florida. I am the only one that doesn't go to the birthday parties and the volleyball games. I am the only one not in the annual Thanksgiving Day picture. I am out of the loop. Stinks, right? But here is what really stinks...that is not the fear.



Since I have moved there are only 2 people that I have stayed in touch with- my sister and best friend CJ, and my mom (also my best friend.) If you would have asked me before we moved, I would have said that is what would happen....so not a big shocker there. What has crept up on me is the fact that my family is changing and will continue to change and I won't be there to change with it....I will just be a part of the 'family that was...'
What will happen when my parent's are gone? There I said it. My biggest fear. I love these dear two people for a million reasons. The first is that they gave up so much to adopt me. They gave me a great big family. They taught me about Jesus. They taught me how to be humble. They taught me how to be funny. They taught me what is most important. And they taught me all these things by showing me. I cannot even begin to imagine how much the deepest parts of my heart will hurt when I don't have them. They were God's first love letter to me. I got to live through a life that reflected His Redemption and Sovereignty. My parent's keep me connected with everyone else. I am scared of losing all my family when I lose them. I don't know if I could make it through that.

We have been blessed by our church families loving us sooo well and inviting us into their lives and families this past year. Most of the time, this is just what I need to feel connected and part of that big family that is what I love and long to be a part of. But then another fear creeps in....
What happens if we have to go to a new church? (not now Rhoda...one fear at a time) Anyways, my fear is that one day when I have to grieve the loss of my parents, I will also have to grieve the loss of the family that they gave me.

My goals are to:
-grow closer with my Savior and learn what He wants me to learn about Him through this
-call my family members more and try to stay connected regardless of the distance
-rest in the truth that God put us here and He will provide everything and everyone we need
-cherish every moment that I have with my family now
-hope that one day God might bless Clay and I with a big family

The best part is that we will all be together with Jesus one day- that makes me smile.