What Not to Wear

Most evenings I watch the best show in the universe- What Not to Wear. If you haven't seen it, you have to- and here's why:

1. The clothes 2. The Shoes 3. The Bags
Just kidding. Well, sort of. The clothes, shoes, and bags are amazing and I love them. But the best part of the show is the transformation that takes place not just outwardly, but inwardly. Here's a rundown of how it works. I will use pics from the episode that they made over our beloved Mayim Bialik, aka Blossom.

Step 1: The Nomination

Close friends and family members seek out the help of Stacey London and Clinton Kelly to save a loved one from fashion suicide. In many cases, the style (or there of) of the nominee is keeping her (or him- every once in awhile) from achieving her goals. In other cases, many nominees have just given up on taking care of themselves and think the best thing to do is pour all their time and attention on everyone but them. In ALL cases, the nominee truly believes that what they are doing (or not doing) to themselves is great, or at least not all that bad.

Step 2: The Ambush

Stacy and Clinton surprise the poorly dressed gal in front of all the loved ones that were too afraid to tell her to her face she was a fashion nightmare. The nominee is usually shocked, then excited to be offered $5,000 for a new wardrobe, then embarrassed at having to watch secret footage of the sad state of her wardrobe.

Step #3 The 360 and Trash

The nominee is flown to NYC, along with her entire wardrobe. She picks out three different outfits and has to look at herself in a 360 degree mirror. Yikes. I don't care who you are...that is rough. She talks about what she likes about the outfit, and then Stacy and Clinton tell her why she is wrong. They then have an alternative outfit for her to see what is best for her body type and lifestyle. The most sad part is when she has to watch as Stacy and Clinton throw all of her clothes in the trash. So many people are attached to these ugly things. I used to think it was crazy, but now I don't. Those clothes represent who they are, and even if they don't like who they are....at least they know who they are. It is intimidating to have to start fresh. Why Blossom, WHY?

Step #4 Shopping

This should be the best day in the girl's week...but it never is. The girl aimlessly walks the amazing shops in New York either complaining or crying or buying things that Stacy and Clinton said she shouldn't. The first day she is always on her own, and the second day Stacy and Clinton rescue her and help her in her quest for a new wardrobe. I used to always wonder why they just didn't go with her on the first day. When I thought about it, I realized that shopping on her own was a very important part of the process. She is forced to do something for herself. She is faced with her insecurities. She is an emotional wreck. Then Stacy and Clinton very gently encourage her and show her how great she is....but she might not see it...yet...

Step #5 Hair and Makeup

The nominee is then taken to get a new hair do and makeup look. It is usually after the hair and makeup are done that she realizes she has some natural beauty.

Step #6 The Reveal

She now tries on three of her new outfits for Stacy and Clinton. This is the best part. The two people she thought were her worst enemies she now sees as her biggest cheerleaders. She feels powerful, beautiful, and worthy. She feels strong and she looks fabulous. I am so proud of you Blossom!

My life with God sometimes feels like What Not to Wear

How much of my life have I spent walking around, thinking I am doing okay. Sure...I am not the most spiritual person out there, but who has time to read their Bibles and pray for hours a day? So there I go...just walking around looking and feeling nasty- in denial of what is best for me. And just when I am settled enough.....

#1 Ambush

God ambushes me. Maybe it is through a sermon, or a friend, or scripture, or a homeless woman who held up a sign that said "You are great just as you are." I have been ambushed so many times over the years, you would think I wouldn't be surprised anymore. But I always am. That is what sin does to a soul. It is darkness. And darkness is always surprised by light. I go through the same phases as the show nominee. I am shocked, then excited about what God offers me, then embarrassed by the footage of what I truly looked like...what I settled for.

#2 The 360 and Trash

I am embarrassed that I would look at the girl on the show and think, "How can she look at herself in that outfit and think she looks okay?" But that is exactly what I do. I get so use to my sin that I can not really see what is so bad....I justify, I compare, and I justify some more. Christ is my 360 degree mirror. It is only when I see His perfect righteousness that I see my stained and sinful self as I truly am. I see in Christ what He offers me- just like the models of outfits prepared for the nominee...And I think, "Can I really look like that?" But I can't look like that if I still have all sin that I have been wearing around. So I need to take a trip to the trashcan with God. I need to trust him and not fight to hold onto the sin that has so easily entangled me. I need to keep my eye on the prize of what He has offered me.

#3 Shopping

Then I go out and dress myself with what He has prepared for me. The girl on the show is never really alone on her first shopping day. Clinton and Stacy are watching her through a TV monitor. The girl usually keeps saying, "I just wish Clinton and Stacy were here to tell me what to wear..." Oh how I have wished God was there to tell me exactly what to do all the time. But He is and He does. He uses whatever it takes to get my attention, and I love Him. So often I walk around aimlessly, sometimes crying, a lot of times complaining. I even feel the desire to go dumpster diving for my old threads. I must say that I am still in this shopping stage. I won't be made new until Jesus comes again and makes all things new. One of my favorite truths in the Bible is that of us being the bride of Christ. In ancient Jewish cultures, the bridegroom gave his fiancee a white linen dress when he proposed. He would then leave her and go to his father's house where he would build an addition onto it for he and his future wife to live. The bride's job during this time was to decorate her dress by adding embellishments on it. The book of Revelation talks about how we can prepare the dress that Christ has given us, as He is at His Father's house, preparing a room for us. We adorn our dress with righteous acts. I want my dress to be beautiful. Show me how Lord!

"Let us Rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear."

Revelation 19: 7-8

What a great reveal that will be.

My Fear....

Please forgive my lack of proper writing and grammar. My favorite thing to do lately is the ..... thing. I can't seem to stop..... okay, here it goes...

A little background: I have been struggling about being alone. Now, Now- before you (by you I mean the one or two people who will ever read this) start to tell me that I am never alone....hear me out. I have always been part of a huge family. When I was growing up, our house was filled with people. When I picture the front of my parent's house, I mainly see lots of cars filling the driveway and street. It was such a blessing that all my parent's 6 children and their kids lived in the same town.
A fear has filled my heart ever since Clay and I moved to Winston-Salem last summer . I am the only one that doesn't live in Florida. I am the only one that doesn't go to the birthday parties and the volleyball games. I am the only one not in the annual Thanksgiving Day picture. I am out of the loop. Stinks, right? But here is what really stinks...that is not the fear.



Since I have moved there are only 2 people that I have stayed in touch with- my sister and best friend CJ, and my mom (also my best friend.) If you would have asked me before we moved, I would have said that is what would happen....so not a big shocker there. What has crept up on me is the fact that my family is changing and will continue to change and I won't be there to change with it....I will just be a part of the 'family that was...'
What will happen when my parent's are gone? There I said it. My biggest fear. I love these dear two people for a million reasons. The first is that they gave up so much to adopt me. They gave me a great big family. They taught me about Jesus. They taught me how to be humble. They taught me how to be funny. They taught me what is most important. And they taught me all these things by showing me. I cannot even begin to imagine how much the deepest parts of my heart will hurt when I don't have them. They were God's first love letter to me. I got to live through a life that reflected His Redemption and Sovereignty. My parent's keep me connected with everyone else. I am scared of losing all my family when I lose them. I don't know if I could make it through that.

We have been blessed by our church families loving us sooo well and inviting us into their lives and families this past year. Most of the time, this is just what I need to feel connected and part of that big family that is what I love and long to be a part of. But then another fear creeps in....
What happens if we have to go to a new church? (not now Rhoda...one fear at a time) Anyways, my fear is that one day when I have to grieve the loss of my parents, I will also have to grieve the loss of the family that they gave me.

My goals are to:
-grow closer with my Savior and learn what He wants me to learn about Him through this
-call my family members more and try to stay connected regardless of the distance
-rest in the truth that God put us here and He will provide everything and everyone we need
-cherish every moment that I have with my family now
-hope that one day God might bless Clay and I with a big family

The best part is that we will all be together with Jesus one day- that makes me smile.